When a person has suffered a great loss, an invasion, an injury either psychological or other, or both, to their Self, their Identity, what do we say to these people who suffer so much? How do we bring them into a mediation process?
Some clues may be found in this excellent audio in Sweeping Zen, by Sokuzan Robert Brown, a Soto Zen priest in the lineage of Hojosama Keibun Otagawa.
See http://sweepingzen.com/2011/05/20/identity-or-self-putting-ego-on-a-diet-by-sokuzan-robert-brown/